the story begins

Ok pple, let me start from the beginning, as to what u guys have missed ya?..my memory is a bit screwed after all that medication and drinking, but i will try my best...lets see, i got to know nick my mr =) recently this year around april after i started work with IPP and he started work with Spinergy, becoz my boss felt he would be better there...anyway, soon differences happened, we went for Phuket trip as a team and nearly came back in parts...

Then the story gets interesting as i started to feel disgruntle abt my job, becoz i felt the full load of it and being responsible for 20 over tasks on a daily basis is no joke and being peanuts, of coz u will feel pissed. So...i started somehow to hang out with my brother, and then thats how i got to know nick better and his group of gaming frens, namely tommy, who also happens to be a sec senior, and jonathan(jon) who is a reserved guy, but completely cool dude. so anyway this period of time we all hanged out at this place at orchard towers called Naughty Girls, as much as the place is known for its trannies and stuff, its way over rated, the reason why we hang at the place is becoz the band is FANTASTIC so ya thats our playground, plus some if the thai pple are our frens...so as time went by, we hanged out with each other almost after work every day for me, at his house on weekends, etc...thats also where my diet went way of the window, but i was and still is very happy! i love to go spinergy just becoz if him, and it felt really different when he was not around. before he left spinergy i got to know both him and jon better at our team's wine and breeze at the eurasian house. and then i organised chris's bday at my place and becoz we all were foodies from that nite, things just kinda all fell in place after i faced daily shit at work....so yea i m thankful for all of them being there. of coz not forgetting the comfort i get from seeing my sis whenever she comes to work on a weekly basis..but yea i began to look forward to seeing the guys after work each day.

the sweet part of it was that remembered one weekend i brought nick and my bro to gastronomia at H.V and i intro nick to mango and passion fruit panacotta and that was it! he got hooked on it and yea he was so sweet to call me out of the blue to just say hi and check how my day was gg. if he doesn't call he will just drop me a msg, i guess we gelled even more after the spinergy incident with aaron, who is the boss and who is really stupid to suspect that nick and nick wld wanna start an events company to compete with them. there is no competition coz spinergy is a production house!! anyway, one friday nick called me and met up with tommy for lunch and guess what, he was so sweet to buy me panacotta and deliver it all the way after lunch to come and visit me at my office just to cheer my day up!!! i believe i blogged abt it the last time..

anyway its been 7+ months and i guess i allowed him to know me like no other frens. with tommy, jon n nick i m so myself, no acts at all, completely comfortable, i treat them like my older bros and naturally it seems like im walking with bodyguards...anyway i found out alot of bitching stuff abt my bro, n complains abt my bro's attitudes and stuff..but watever...

so b4 we left for bkk, i kinda pissed my bro off as i didn't want to go home so early after a hards days work and whatever he got pissed, but i sure dun regret staying as one i found out that azrin one of my f.f pt was a regular there coz i bump into him. next it gave me a chance to get to know nick way much better. he is just adorable, not out right handsome, but he has got charm and sincerity..awesome fella and for some reason that day i think i brought the tot of not a lil sis to his mind. becoz lets just say we were grabbing n hugging each other while dancing, i mean were both high,but that was a great nite out..we had awesome 4am lor mee..and coming from me who doesn't eat lor mee..it is awesome. yes only mr =) has managed to make me break my promise of not eating lor mee......

so that was one wild nite and then we went bkk and we seriouslyt had a fantastic time partying..the nite life there is really NITE life...nthg compared to here, we pale in comparision to their clubs, we look like lounges man!! he brought me to Santhika...super cool house kinda club like a big house party! the service is fantastic and he is just way adorable when he is high! i just love his attitude and stuff abt him. n he just had to say "u shld have worn smthg sexier" when i started dancing with him...like ok..man..hahahah before that in S'pore after that late nite out with him, he came out showing me the action that im hot and saying that that isn't the way s sis shld b dancing with a brother. i guess that nite he really saw the real me, the wild me...coz i can never really be myself when my bro is ard. same in bkk..it was superbly good, coz my bro was not ard and i can just have real fun with nick! i remember on my last nite partying, i was so wasted..,got to know this really cute thai waiter, and yea he came to party with us at the underground club called scratch dog becoz all clubs at RCA like Slim, close at 2am, but the undergrd closes at 7am...so ya this thai waiter called dong has a super hot body, according to nick i was all over him that nite n he was really sad that i didnt know him earlier n that i was leaving so soon...anyway...i smoke sisha strawberry flavour..really gd flavour, but not strong enuf to make me wanna smoke real cigs..bad habit anyway..disgusting. anyway the point is i remember giving nick a peck on the cheek on the last party nite. plus we always call each other every next afternoon, and talk, and he admits he likes my sexy wake up voice. hahaha plus he is so sweet to say that if i didn;t feel good, he wld have brought me back to my hotel room without hesitation and look after me..so sweet rite..ok i admit i did wanna bring him back with me to my room in bkk...even tho i knew nthg wld have come out of it..well thats just me coz as wasted as i was, i still cld function, except in the morning i cldn't remember how i changed out of my clothes to my pjs..hahaha of coz the last nite of party caused me to b sick, i believe alcohol poisoning or smthg...puking and diarreahoa and i woke up late n didnt have any breakfast.just packed and was out of my room in 15mins, shower n all..hahaha...

the trip back home was uncomfortable as i didn't have appetite to eat and puking feeling and all plus i had to take an exam so ya..hahaha anyway when i was back here, we both missed each other n i realised i actually looked forward to hearing from him, even as a bro....always so positive n chirpy man...so much energy!! and yea cldnt meet him when he came back as i was down sick, having a bad stomach plus a 40 degree fever, over 2 days and yea, after that on sat nite it was just great to see him and go out n have dinner and chill with him...of coz sunday i saw him again...

the rest of the time, i guess went by in a blur, i know last week i didnt see until end of the week...y i forgot, i guess partly becoz i was not well too.. anyway from the time he came back until now i have been hanging with him alone (meaning w/o my bro ard) at N.G and we have had the time of our life....plus he gave me a peck on a cheek twice already. the other nite he was there for me, when i for some reason started crying abt alvin again, i hardly cry when i drink, somehow that nite i just ended up in a mess in my mind, and he was one shocked after he came back from his house 7-11, coz tommy was sending us back and it was quite early in the morning, he came back with our drinks n saw me in tears, boy did it wake him up man. heheheh....

then we 3 had the best discussion of all time, we talked abt life after death, shared life experiences, and dreams abt back packing and the topic of dating me came up and he actually came clean abt it. i also came to know that jon even considered dating me becoz i was so like this thai dancer called ah wu whom he can't have but is happy being ard with. the way nick described me was that i was the perfect gal he wld date, the kinda attitude n aloofness was a-class, totally the type of gal he wld go after, plus my character n stuff, really wife material..but he still can't get over the fact that im a bit taller than him, like 7cm, hahaha and that he knows my bro and stuff like that. he so wished he knew me earlier...and blah blah blah...

i admit i miss him..more than a bro..but im not sure...i just msged him n i dun know if its progress coz he is quite english speaking, so some phrases we use are matter of speech. i msged him hey btwn 2 cheeky face n he msges back " hey you =) whatcha doing baby?" so what do u make out of it? i being cheeky replied " thinking abt u baby ;p" heheh i know he is definately dota-ing at this hour(gaming online) so he didn't reply..but i dun know man.

He was the first to call me his SSE, whichis sight for sore eyes, he always loves to see me after a days work..n till now i cant believe both jon n him actually talked abt me n dating me....im like wtf n he was equally shocked i msn with tommy abt me considering him as a potential bf..hahahah anyway..i dun know miss him already, wondering if i shld not meet my fren tmr nite so that i can meet him. i think he most probly may ask me out for dinner or smthg, as long as we get our doses of each other...im lost coz we both dun want to loose what we have now....

well i better go slp already...
confused sugar outz...nitezz....btw i had a weird dream abt him and the grp of gaming frens this morning..told him n he said i have been hanging abt him n his room to have such a dream...heheh =)

updates overdued

Hi all readers...i know i owe u guys an apology as i dun update as frequently as i like, unlike when i first started blogging. maybe becoz i am more tied up with work and social life and stuff that i have become lazyi admit. easier for me to shrug off teh tot to blog these days even when i have the mood. i know sad...well i miss my lil sis loads....i shld't be up at this hour blogging as i m sick again, like the 3rd time....let me back track..

when i first came back to singapore, yes i was overseas for the deepavali period, came back on my exam day the 12th of nov, still managed to ace my exam with a 17 upon 20 for mcq, top the class...yeah!! despite the fact that i sat for the exam with an upset stomach, and after vomitting..here's why:

the Bangkok trip was superbly good this time as my close buddy, and a person i wished so much was my bro, will explain soon...called nick was up in bkk too!yes we kinda planned it to be , but anyway he went up first and he called me plus all the rest of the buddies while there, so sweet rite..heheh anyway he really did miss me and cldn't wait for me to be there. neither could i! why? becoz he speaks thai and we got thai dancer frens, who basically will look after us when we are there. so yes as u guessed, out of the 5 days i was there, i partied 4 out of the 5 nites, including the last nite..we just went crazy and wild! i shld blog abt the trip soon...i seriously promise i will do that with pics n all as all the gd pics is with nick!

Who is this nick guy, well things are simple yet complicated becoz its only that way coz we choose to b, but he's the guy who is on my facebook pic with me. yes he has shot to instant stardom as everyone is asking me if he is my bf, but my answer is NO! Considered, in fact we both did consider, but felt there was too much to loose, he says he gives me another 2 years, but my heart wants him now! i dun know if its bad or good, and i dun know how to go abt telling him that or rather convincing him. i dun even know if it will b gd for us and the pple ard us, coz i really see that we have lots to work tru shld we be together, and i frankly feel if we were together, we wld b for a long time. right now things are very comfortable btwn the 2 of us, becoz our feelings are mutual, im the sis he wished for but never had and he's the bro i wished i had and could swap. i mean not that my bro is bad or what, but the relationship btwn him and me is so much more like a real bro-sis kinda thing than it has ever been btwn my bro n me for the past 22 years. unbelievable but true! i am so bloody comfortable with him, i mean, seriously im who im with him,no act, in fact little at all, completely frank n honest opinions n conversations! for me to b attracted to him, means he has grown on me, becoz i didn't have a solid likable first impression of him, as i was influenced by what my bro ex said, plus hear stories from my mum, and ya u get the pic. but now...boy i wish he was my bro, if not more than that. possible, but we both may not come to b as our thinking and calculations are similar, only wedge a war if u can win it, for now btwn us its 50-50, so we r both in limbo n comfortable.

he's also worried that things won't go back to the way they are now if we were to get together n break up. i feel or rather beg to differ, n he stubbornly disagrees with me. yes can't b 100% completely the same but i feel both us being matured enuf will bring the frenship to greater heights after the break up, becoz we got to know each other really well, gave it a shot n know the outcome. maybe in time he will cmy side of the pic. then of coz i know what is stopping him: 1 is becoz i m my bro's sis, 2 becoz he knows my bro and 3 becoz im young n have much to c yet. for me they all dun matter becoz im a realist, i learn to live for the moment n in that moment. ultimately i do not know how many times i have answered in my mind whenever he says he needs a gf that there is one rite in front of him! and i dun care abt his reasons, becoz they dun mean anythg to me.he says im young n hence these dun matter as im short sighted, he is thinking 2 steps ahead abt fitting in with the family n all and he can't really stand my bro at times, but hello the relationship is with me?!!!anyway i just have gotta be happy n contented that he is a bro to me for now.

i so really want him as a bf, i dun know y so badly, i need to think this tru thoroughly n be aware of my reasons y, but i know he has become part of my inner circle of trust as i feel protective over him ,and yes jealous a bit when other gals are around as much as i dun act the part. i mean come on, which gal willingly cooks for him let me c 3 times already...packets the food n brings it to his house? hello if pple dun know they wld mistake me as his gf lor....which is already happening. hahaha even in bkk. i want to laugh, b4 all these openess with our considerations for each other, my mum tot we were dating as i spent so much time with him and the rest of my buddies including my real bro at his place. he had to reassure my mum in bkk that we were not dating! lol so can u imagine now if we were together how amusing it wld be..err hi aunty..i got smthg to tell u..jean n i r dating now...hahahha my mum will probably faint man! u c he considers all these 2 much, when to me i just told him well then is then now is now..things change, policeman wear pants now, then they wore shorts...

aiya..i dun know la..maybe its becoz i spend too much time with him, that i miss him when he's not ard. he seems to be able to make me smile just like that, a mere tot of him n im smiling.i mean my frens dun even have that instant effect on me man. i actually look forward to seeing him or just spending time with him, even if we dun have conversation, we r still so comfortable with each other. i spent last sunday late aftn to evening in his room, watching dvd n doing my work while he game, yes the usual watching dvd while he games,nothing out of the ordinary for our routine, but that silence btwn us was so comfortable..altho i was quite tempted to make progress but like kinda scared..hahaha..he wld have killed me coz he was gaming..heheh...but strangely dun know how many times i found his door lock after he like come back to his room. maybe accident as sometimes this also happens to me when i close his door at his place. so its really hard to say! we have given each other a peck on the cheek like twice already....how tell me how?!!

why the hell is my update abt him? when u guys dun know the story from the start?!! hmm....u see i know all of u will ask me to blog more. i will..ok promise..for now i better go slp..coz i m still recovering from my cold. so sad no gym for a while. hope i dun grow fat n loose my stamina too much!! 3 more days before i officially leave IPP...yeah! =) well, better go liao..btw my memory these days is warped and bad....he's is too...but i love n hate him for his spontaneity , more love than hate i guess, coz with it comes his partial amnesia. hahaha =) okok gd nitez......he is my mr =) btw, i miss him so. ...( he has a habit of telling me he misses me so often that i dun know if its real or is there any diff,