updates overdued

Hi all readers...i know i owe u guys an apology as i dun update as frequently as i like, unlike when i first started blogging. maybe becoz i am more tied up with work and social life and stuff that i have become lazyi admit. easier for me to shrug off teh tot to blog these days even when i have the mood. i know sad...well i miss my lil sis loads....i shld't be up at this hour blogging as i m sick again, like the 3rd time....let me back track..

when i first came back to singapore, yes i was overseas for the deepavali period, came back on my exam day the 12th of nov, still managed to ace my exam with a 17 upon 20 for mcq, top the class...yeah!! despite the fact that i sat for the exam with an upset stomach, and after vomitting..here's why:

the Bangkok trip was superbly good this time as my close buddy, and a person i wished so much was my bro, will explain soon...called nick was up in bkk too!yes we kinda planned it to be , but anyway he went up first and he called me plus all the rest of the buddies while there, so sweet rite..heheh anyway he really did miss me and cldn't wait for me to be there. neither could i! why? becoz he speaks thai and we got thai dancer frens, who basically will look after us when we are there. so yes as u guessed, out of the 5 days i was there, i partied 4 out of the 5 nites, including the last nite..we just went crazy and wild! i shld blog abt the trip soon...i seriously promise i will do that with pics n all as all the gd pics is with nick!

Who is this nick guy, well things are simple yet complicated becoz its only that way coz we choose to b, but he's the guy who is on my facebook pic with me. yes he has shot to instant stardom as everyone is asking me if he is my bf, but my answer is NO! Considered, in fact we both did consider, but felt there was too much to loose, he says he gives me another 2 years, but my heart wants him now! i dun know if its bad or good, and i dun know how to go abt telling him that or rather convincing him. i dun even know if it will b gd for us and the pple ard us, coz i really see that we have lots to work tru shld we be together, and i frankly feel if we were together, we wld b for a long time. right now things are very comfortable btwn the 2 of us, becoz our feelings are mutual, im the sis he wished for but never had and he's the bro i wished i had and could swap. i mean not that my bro is bad or what, but the relationship btwn him and me is so much more like a real bro-sis kinda thing than it has ever been btwn my bro n me for the past 22 years. unbelievable but true! i am so bloody comfortable with him, i mean, seriously im who im with him,no act, in fact little at all, completely frank n honest opinions n conversations! for me to b attracted to him, means he has grown on me, becoz i didn't have a solid likable first impression of him, as i was influenced by what my bro ex said, plus hear stories from my mum, and ya u get the pic. but now...boy i wish he was my bro, if not more than that. possible, but we both may not come to b as our thinking and calculations are similar, only wedge a war if u can win it, for now btwn us its 50-50, so we r both in limbo n comfortable.

he's also worried that things won't go back to the way they are now if we were to get together n break up. i feel or rather beg to differ, n he stubbornly disagrees with me. yes can't b 100% completely the same but i feel both us being matured enuf will bring the frenship to greater heights after the break up, becoz we got to know each other really well, gave it a shot n know the outcome. maybe in time he will cmy side of the pic. then of coz i know what is stopping him: 1 is becoz i m my bro's sis, 2 becoz he knows my bro and 3 becoz im young n have much to c yet. for me they all dun matter becoz im a realist, i learn to live for the moment n in that moment. ultimately i do not know how many times i have answered in my mind whenever he says he needs a gf that there is one rite in front of him! and i dun care abt his reasons, becoz they dun mean anythg to me.he says im young n hence these dun matter as im short sighted, he is thinking 2 steps ahead abt fitting in with the family n all and he can't really stand my bro at times, but hello the relationship is with me?!!!anyway i just have gotta be happy n contented that he is a bro to me for now.

i so really want him as a bf, i dun know y so badly, i need to think this tru thoroughly n be aware of my reasons y, but i know he has become part of my inner circle of trust as i feel protective over him ,and yes jealous a bit when other gals are around as much as i dun act the part. i mean come on, which gal willingly cooks for him let me c 3 times already...packets the food n brings it to his house? hello if pple dun know they wld mistake me as his gf lor....which is already happening. hahaha even in bkk. i want to laugh, b4 all these openess with our considerations for each other, my mum tot we were dating as i spent so much time with him and the rest of my buddies including my real bro at his place. he had to reassure my mum in bkk that we were not dating! lol so can u imagine now if we were together how amusing it wld be..err hi aunty..i got smthg to tell u..jean n i r dating now...hahahha my mum will probably faint man! u c he considers all these 2 much, when to me i just told him well then is then now is now..things change, policeman wear pants now, then they wore shorts...

aiya..i dun know la..maybe its becoz i spend too much time with him, that i miss him when he's not ard. he seems to be able to make me smile just like that, a mere tot of him n im smiling.i mean my frens dun even have that instant effect on me man. i actually look forward to seeing him or just spending time with him, even if we dun have conversation, we r still so comfortable with each other. i spent last sunday late aftn to evening in his room, watching dvd n doing my work while he game, yes the usual watching dvd while he games,nothing out of the ordinary for our routine, but that silence btwn us was so comfortable..altho i was quite tempted to make progress but like kinda scared..hahaha..he wld have killed me coz he was gaming..heheh...but strangely dun know how many times i found his door lock after he like come back to his room. maybe accident as sometimes this also happens to me when i close his door at his place. so its really hard to say! we have given each other a peck on the cheek like twice already....how tell me how?!!

why the hell is my update abt him? when u guys dun know the story from the start?!! hmm....u see i know all of u will ask me to blog more. i will..ok promise..for now i better go slp..coz i m still recovering from my cold. so sad no gym for a while. hope i dun grow fat n loose my stamina too much!! 3 more days before i officially leave IPP...yeah! =) well, better go liao..btw my memory these days is warped and bad....he's is too...but i love n hate him for his spontaneity , more love than hate i guess, coz with it comes his partial amnesia. hahaha =) okok gd nitez......he is my mr =) btw, i miss him so. ...( he has a habit of telling me he misses me so often that i dun know if its real or is there any diff,